I been thinking about two (gross) qualities of Violent Speech.
1: It's all a product of the thinking-mind:
theories, fantasies, opinions, judgements, evaluations, memories,
predictions, interpretation, labels, categories, belief...
...i.e., it's all unproven, unknowable, or wrong!
Thoughts are not the same as reality.
2: It is all about the OTHER person,
and nothing about one's INNER EXPERIENCE.
So, can you please express from your heart, and not your mind?
a) What did YOU SEE?
b) How do YOU FEEL? and
c) What do YOU WANT or NEED?
I get frustrated, trying to be a compassionate listener,
trying to connect at the heart,
connect with what is alive in the other person,
listening for the other person's feelings/needs...
... and hearing only thoughts,
especially *thoughts about some other person*!
especially thoughts about me!
(i.e., telling me what I am, and/or what I was thinking, or intending, etc
why not just ask?)
As I try to reflect what the other person has said,
on a feelings level, often requiring guesswork,
many people I have encountered lately
seem to have a great deal of difficulty
describing their own feelings.
They either lack the vocabulary,
or they lack feeling-consciousness.
Feelings are anchored in the body,
so there seems to be an attendant body-unconsciousness.
People seem live in their heads.
Therefore, a key secret to compassionate expression, is
self-connection, self-awareness, body-consciousness.
Today, I offer you a humble suggestion:
Spend some time inhabiting your body!
Be aware of your thinking-mind, yes, but also
don't neglect awareness of
your emotions and your feeling-body.
Try it for happiness!
Bill Huston WilliamAHuston@gmail.com
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