Sunday, August 9, 2009

violent speech

I been thinking about two (gross) qualities of Violent Speech.

1: It's all a product of the thinking-mind:
     theories, fantasies, opinions, judgements, evaluations, memories,
     predictions, interpretation, labels, categories, belief...

      ...i.e., it's all unproven, unknowable, or wrong!  
         Thoughts are not the same as reality.

2: It is all about the OTHER person,
     and nothing about one's INNER EXPERIENCE.

So, can you please express from your heart, and not your mind?

Tell me:
a) What did YOU SEE?
b) How do YOU FEEL? and
c) What do YOU WANT or NEED?

I get frustrated, trying to be a compassionate listener,
trying to connect at the heart,
connect with what is alive in the other person,
listening for the other person's feelings/needs...
... and hearing only thoughts,
especially *thoughts about some other person*!
especially thoughts about me!
(i.e., telling me what I am, and/or what I was thinking, or intending, etc
   why not just ask?)

As I try to reflect what the other person has said,
on a feelings level, often requiring guesswork,
many people I have encountered lately
seem to have a great deal of difficulty
describing their own feelings.

They either lack the vocabulary,
or they lack feeling-consciousness.

Feelings are anchored in the body,
so there seems to be an attendant body-unconsciousness.
People seem live in their heads.

Therefore, a key secret to compassionate expression, is
self-connection, self-awareness, body-consciousness.

Today, I offer you a humble suggestion:

Spend some time inhabiting your body!
Be aware of your thinking-mind, yes, but also
don't neglect awareness of
your emotions and your feeling-body.

Try it for happiness!

Bill Huston          
Binghamton NY
Phone: 607-321-7846


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