I been thinking about two (gross) qualities of Violent Speech.
1: It's all a product of the thinking-mind:
theories, fantasies, opinions, judgements, evaluations, memories,
predictions, interpretation, labels, categories, belief...
...i.e., it's all unproven, unknowable, or wrong!
Thoughts are not the same as reality.
2: It is all about the OTHER person,
and nothing about one's INNER EXPERIENCE.
So, can you please express from your heart, and not your mind?
Tell me:
a) What did YOU SEE?
b) How do YOU FEEL? and
c) What do YOU WANT or NEED?
I get frustrated, trying to be a compassionate listener,
trying to connect at the heart,
connect with what is alive in the other person,
listening for the other person's feelings/needs...
... and hearing only thoughts,
especially *thoughts about some other person*!
especially thoughts about me!
(i.e., telling me what I am, and/or what I was thinking, or intending, etc
why not just ask?)
As I try to reflect what the other person has said,
on a feelings level, often requiring guesswork,
many people I have encountered lately
seem to have a great deal of difficulty
describing their own feelings.
They either lack the vocabulary,
or they lack feeling-consciousness.
Feelings are anchored in the body,
so there seems to be an attendant body-unconsciousness.
People seem live in their heads.
Therefore, a key secret to compassionate expression, is
self-connection, self-awareness, body-consciousness.
Today, I offer you a humble suggestion:
Spend some time inhabiting your body!
Be aware of your thinking-mind, yes, but also
don't neglect awareness of
your emotions and your feeling-body.
Try it for happiness!
--
Bill Huston WilliamAHuston@gmail.com
Binghamton NY
Phone: 607-321-7846
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Bio/blog: http://binghamtonpmc.org/bio.html http://WilliamAHuston.blogspot.com
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