BillHustonBlog: On Specialness and Compassion

On Specialness and Compassion

One time, one place where I lived,
there was a big snowstorm.

There was a little C-shaped area
where I parked,
just along a narrow road.

When the snowplows came through,
their plows would always leave
a little mountain of snow
at the end of your driveway.

It was double or triple in height
over the surrounding area!

That little mountain of snow
at the end of the driveway
was always the hardest work.

It was the first or second winter there,
I didn't yet know all the neighbors.

After one heavy storm
8"-12" of fresh wet stuff.
I go out to shovel.

But Oh no! -- What the hell?

I find the guy across the street
had already been out
and had buried the entrance
to the C-shaped area
where I park my car.

Man, was I angry!!

So I was telling my landlady about it
and she tells me,

"Oh--- that's Larry."
She smiles.

What do you mean? I ask.

"Larry is... how do you say it...? Special."

Oh no....
OK, I see. I get that now.

Without using judgmental language,
what I think she is saying is
that Larry maybe has difficulties or burdens
which others do not have.

Could be emotional issues.
Or cognitive. Or affective.
Who knows.

She wasn't specific.
I didn't ask.
But I understood.

When someone says
"That person is 'Special'"
it means special needs.

It means this person is likely in pain,
suffering past traumas or terrors.

It means the situation requires
extra-sensitivity, extra-compassion.

Suddenly I started feeling
a little guilty about my prior anger.

I sat with that feeling for a while.

I was amazed to see my emotions
change from anger into sympathy,
compassion, even sorrow for his pain.

And then I feel a large revelation came!

What if everyone is "Special"?

What if everyone has their own unique
difficulties with which they are afflicted,
their own unique traumas, and terrors.

I am thinking that
whenever I feel anger coming up,
it would be useful to realize,
that everyone, absolutely everyone,
in any given moment,
is just doing the best they/we/I can.

I am doing the best I can.
In any given moment.

I am special.
I am dealing with my own
unique dramas, traumas, and terrors,
horrors and curses.

My dear friends,
Please try to understand this
and treat me with extra-compassion.

And in this way,
I am NOT special.

Because absolutely everyone
is special in this way.
Dealing with their own unique story.

Please treat all beings
which extra-compassion.

We are all,
just doing the best we can.

Be nice to each other.
Please be nice to me.

Thank you!

Summary:

Special People suffer in a special way.
Special people therefore deserve Special Compassion, and Care.
Everyone is Special!
Therefore, everyone deserves Special Compassion, and Care.
Because everyone is special,
this means that no one is special.
This seems like a contradiction,
but it is the most profound truth!
And arises from simple logic:
All beings deserve your compassion and care!