Thursday, May 6, 2010

What is love?

What is love?

It is very "overloaded" in the English language.

In NVC, there is a big debate: Is love a feeling or a need?
The problem is much worse than that... :)

: Love is a feeling I receive from others.
Gift or service: I do this work out of love. This is a love offering.
Affect: Love is how I relate to others, w/respect, kindness, generosity, charity, forgiveness, empathy
Affection: I feel such love when I am near you.
Thought: I think I am loved by many. (or) What do you mean, "I love you"?
Need: To be nourished by love is essential to human life.
Lust/Grasping: I am in LOVE with you!!!!!!!
Compassion: Love is caring for the well-being of others.
Sex: Making love is a physical thing with bodies.
Preference: I really love ice cream!
Kindredship: I love you like a brother.
Desire/Craving: I would really LOVE to get some ice cream, right now!
Bondage: If you really love me, you'll stay with me!

The wisdom tradition I study says e.g. "compassion-love" is a good kind of love.

But that craving-love (greed) or even thought-love (delusion) are poisons.
They are closely related to the anger-poison.

Because of this, I have made an effort to avoid the word love from my usage.


William Huston  
Binghamton NY             Phone: 607-321-7846

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