Are you a Bully? A Pathological Liar? or a Peeping Tom?
Then you might just have THE RIGHT STUFF
Then you might just have THE RIGHT STUFF
for a promising and rewarding career in
|The Public Relations Oblique Strategies for Dummies!|
Special Frack-Flack-Hack edition!
Link to this:
We've told you before how Energy in Depth principle operating modes are as
1) Bullies 2) Spies, and 3) Liars -- for a fee, of course....
I'm trying to keep this judgment-free,
just stating observable facts.
This blog will help reveal how a PR man with a creative block,
in the face of unimaginable environmental catastrophe
and human tragedy, can still function creatively to serve up
a fresh steaming plate of Corporate PR Poo every day,
in order to GET A BIG FAT CHECK!
(and you can too... just sign over your SOUL...)
Many years ago, musician/composer Brian Eno invented a tool for helping artists clear a creative block. He called these the Oblique Strategies.
The idea is that you pick one of these cards, randomly,
from a deck, then do whatever is on the card.
Only the instructions on the cards are deliberately vague,
ambiguous, or "oblique".
Some examples are:
- A line has two sides
- Change instrument roles
- Discard an axiom
- Do we need holes?
- Just carry on
- Listen to the quiet voice
- Use filters
So this started me thinking...
Let's say you work in the Public Relations industry,
and you find yourself with a hellish gig:
that your job is to make "FRACKING" sound like a GOOD THING.
Not exactly a dream assignment.
So just imagine that you are Tom Shepstone (EID),
or George Stark (Cabot Oil), or Susan Oliver (WPX).
Imagine how difficult their job is!
Each morning they wake up, and get their marching orders
based on the most recent "incident":
Oh great! ANOTHER toxic chemical spill!", they cry out.
More poor people with black water,
coughing up blood,
with rashes and spots all over.
Their cattle are all dead.
The kids have leukemia,
And the regulators were caught fudging the data.
Oh, and the WORST PART!
The pro-gas governor-- the chief regulator--
was last seen as Attorney General, involved in the coverup
of a child molester operating inside the State University
WHAT'S A TOADY TO DO!????
EID's Public Relations Oblique Strategies for Dummies
to the rescue!
It lacks the subtlety of the Eno's Oblique Strategies,
hence the "for Dummies" bit.
So, just pull any card,
heck, pull a bunch of 'em--- this one is BAD!
And then write a blog about it.
It functions as a PR Playbook.
- Attack the Man! (Bad Cop)
- Mediate the conflict (Good Cop)
- Schmooze the Dealmakers with Pretty Spokes-models.
- State the exact opposite, even if it is absurd.
- Create a Fake Astroturf Support Group
- Buy Scientist and a Paper
- Debunk and Discredit
- Did you call them NIMBY-HYPOCRITE, ANTI-DEVELOPMENT,
TREE-HUGGING, RADICAL EXTREMIST, ECO-TERRORISTS yet today?
- Highlight the Irrelevant
- Spread Controversy, Uncertainty, and Doubt (Pink Sky)
- Take YOUR vulnerability, and make it THEIRS
- It was ALWAYS like that!
- Deny responsibility
- Shift the Blame.
- Deny the truth.
- Admit the truth, but trivialize it.
- Look! the NIMBYs destroy it too!
- Blame it on a "special interest group",
e/g/ Park Foundation, George Soros, or Eco-communalists
- Have a community picnic!
- Give $10,000 to a hospital!
- Buy a Lobbyist
- Normalize the event.
- Channel the outrage
- File a lawsuit
- The NIMBY is made of Straw
- Buy a TV advert
- Buy a Radio Advert
- Buy a Billboard
- Create a Fake "educational" non-profit or Charitable Foundation
- Crete a Movie!
- Baffle 'em with BS
- It's the JOBS, stupid!
- It's as harmless as Soap and Sand! / Look under your sink.
- Drag a NIMBY through Mud
- Call the locals "outside agitators"
- Wrap the Poison in Patriotism
- Hobson's Choice (resembles a choice, but not really)
- Think of the Tax Revenue for your town!
- We need the GAS!
- It will END THE WAR
- Shut the hell up! (censorship)
- The exception is the rule
- Take the impact, and reverse the effect.
- NIMBY see, NIMBY click
(These are fake polls which waste & divert activist energy,
and also can get them to agree to certain frames)
We will go into each of these in depth in the coming weeks,
decomposing each EID article in terms of these strategies,
to show >> YOU! << how you can
$$$$ Make a PILE of MONEY!! $$$$
as a Public Relations Professional!