Monday, November 5, 2012

EID's Public Relations Oblique Strategies for Dummies

Are you a Bully? A Pathological Liar? or a Peeping Tom?

Then you might just have THE RIGHT STUFF 
for a promising and rewarding career in 
Public Relations!
The Public Relations Oblique Strategies for Dummies!
Special Frack-Flack-Hack edition!

Link to this:

We've told you before how Energy in Depth principle operating modes are as
1) Bullies 2) Spies, and 3) Liars -- for a fee, of course....

I'm trying to keep this judgment-free,
just stating observable facts.

This blog will help reveal how a PR man with a creative block,
in the face of unimaginable environmental catastrophe
and human tragedy, can still function creatively to serve up
a fresh steaming plate of Corporate PR Poo every day,
in order to GET A BIG FAT CHECK!
(and you can too... just sign over your SOUL...)

Many years ago, musician/composer Brian Eno invented a tool for helping artists clear a creative block. He called these the Oblique Strategies.

The idea is that you pick one of these cards, randomly,
from a deck, then do whatever is on the card.

Only the instructions on the cards are deliberately vague,
ambiguous, or "oblique".

Some examples are:
  • A line has two sides
  • Change instrument roles
  • Discard an axiom
  • Do we need holes?
  • Just carry on
  • Listen to the quiet voice
  • Reverse
  • Use filters
These turned out to be widely popular, and used by many artists working in different media, from musicians, to sculptors, to painters, to authors of literature.

So this started me thinking...

Let's say you work in the Public Relations industry,
and you find yourself with a hellish gig:
that your job is to make "FRACKING" sound like a GOOD THING.

Not exactly a dream assignment.

So just imagine that you are Tom Shepstone (EID),
or George Stark (Cabot Oil), or Susan Oliver (WPX).
Imagine how difficult their job is!

Each morning they wake up, and get their marching orders
based on the most recent "incident":

Oh great! ANOTHER toxic chemical spill!", they cry out.

More poor people with black water,
coughing up blood,

with rashes and spots all over.  
Their cattle are all dead.
The kids have leukemia,
And the regulators were caught fudging the data. 

Oh, and the WORST PART!
he pro-gas governor-- the chief regulator--
was last seen as Attorney General, involved in the coverup
of a child molester operating inside the State University

Holy Crap!

EID's Public Relations Oblique Strategies for Dummies
to the rescue!

It lacks the subtlety of the Eno's Oblique Strategies,

hence the "for Dummies" bit.

So, just pull any card,

heck, pull a bunch of 'em--- this one is BAD!
And then write a blog about it.

It functions as a PR Playbook.

  1. Attack the Man! (Bad Cop)
  2. Mediate the conflict (Good Cop)
  3. Schmooze the Dealmakers with Pretty Spokes-models.
  4. State the exact opposite, even if it is absurd.
  5. Create a Fake Astroturf Support Group
  6. Buy Scientist and a Paper
  7. Debunk and Discredit
  9. Highlight the Irrelevant
  10. Spread Controversy, Uncertainty, and Doubt (Pink Sky)
  11. Take YOUR vulnerability, and make it THEIRS
  12. It was ALWAYS like that!
  13. Deny responsibility
  14. Shift the Blame.
  15. Deny the truth.
  16. Admit the truth, but trivialize it. 
  17. Look! the NIMBYs destroy it too!
  18. Blame it on a "special interest group",
    e/g/ Park Foundation, George Soros, or  Eco-communalists
  19. Have a community picnic!
  20. Give $10,000 to a hospital!
  21. Buy a Lobbyist
  22. Normalize the event.
  23. Channel the outrage
  24. File a lawsuit 
  25. The NIMBY is made of Straw
  26. Buy a TV advert
  27. Buy a Radio Advert
  28. Buy a Billboard
  29. Create a Fake "educational" non-profit or Charitable Foundation
  30. Crete a Movie!
  31. Baffle 'em with BS
  32. It's the JOBS, stupid!
  33. It's as harmless as Soap and Sand! / Look under your sink.
  34. Drag a NIMBY through Mud
  35. Call the locals "outside agitators" 
  36. Wrap the Poison in Patriotism
  37. Hobson's Choice (resembles a choice, but not really)
  38. Think of the Tax Revenue for your town!
  39. We need the GAS!
  40. It will END THE WAR 
  41. Shut the hell up! (censorship)
  42. The exception is the rule
  43. Take the impact, and reverse the effect.  
  44. NIMBY see, NIMBY click

    (These are fake polls which waste & divert activist energy,
    and also can get them to agree to certain frames)

We will go into each of these in depth in the coming weeks,
decomposing each EID article in terms of these strategies,
to show >> YOU! << how you can
$$$$ Make a PILE of MONEY!! $$$$ 

as a Public Relations Professional!

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